Straight Therapy
by Black Angel of Destruction
Summary: Ryoma gets sent to therapy by his dad because he was caught making out with his boyfriend! Beware of weirdness! Shounenai, Oneshot


Straight Therapy

Summary: Ryoma gets sent to therapy by his dad because he was caught making out with his boyfriend! Beware of weirdness! Shounen-ai, One-shot

A/N: First PoT fic plz go easy. Script style, and inspired by reading therapy fics and with a saying my mom told to me of what she was going to do if I did this certain thing : I don't know if this has been done before but I thought it would be kinda fun.

Key:

(blah) – sound effects, expressions, and other things besides sayings

name: blah blah – someone saying something

Italics: Thoughts 

Disclaimers: Don't own plz don't sue! Thank you!

One-shot

He entered the room. It was the same as the halls except for a desk, a chair, and a couch to sit in. He was told to sit in the couch and wait for the counselor.

Now we begin the tor- I mean session.

_Session 1: _

Tap, Tap, Tap… 

Counselor: (Examines patient scrutinizing) Why hello Echizen Ryoma-kun. Do you have any idea why you're here today?

Ryoma: (Pulls white cap down and mumbles) … baka oyaji…

Counselor: Hmm…what was that I couldn't hear you…

Ryoma: (Glares)

Counselor: (Ignores glare) Now Echizen-kun, whatever you say in this room stays in this room. I promise whatever you say will only stay between us.

_Silence. _

Counselor: Now do you know why you've been sent here?

Ryoma: (Crosses arms and bows head) Betsuni.

Counselor: Now, now Echizen-kun, that isn't being cooperative. If you don't collaborate I'll have to file a non-responsive report and you'll get more sessions. (very calm)

Ryoma: (growls softly) because my baka oyaji sent me here…

Counselor: Ii data (writes some notes) that's not an acceptable reason Echizen-kun. So tell me the real reason why you're here.

Ryoma: (murmurs) Inui-sempai's relative…

Counselor: You're not answering my question… (in a sing-song voice)

Ryoma: My baka oyaji sent me here because HE CAUGHT ME MAKING OUT WITH MY BOYFRIEND! He sent me here to be straight! When he now knows I have no interest in girls whatsoever! How do you think I feel?

Counselor: Good data. (scribbles notes) Now why don't you tell me about yourself?

Ryoma: (twitch, twitch) Yadda.

Counselor: uncooperative…adding…extra session…

Ryoma: (shuddered) I like tennis.

Counselor: Good, good data. (stops scribbling) Anything else Echizen-kun?

Ryoma: Betsuni.

Counselor: second non-collaboration…adding 3…extra session…

Ryoma: O.O I live with my parents and lived in the US I'm trying to beat my baka oyaji Tezuka-buchou and Fuji-senpai in tennis I hate American breakfast and I like my cat Karupin I drink ponta most of the time I hate losing and I hate my baka oyaji for even thinking of this crazy idea of sending me to this-

Counselor: This what? (glasses glint evilly)

Ryoma: (backs away slowly) Eh…nothing…

Counselor: That's what I thought. Hands twitching…cat name Karupin…favorite drink ponta…obsessed with tennis…complete family…dislikes (looks up) - Echizen-kun tell me why this much hostility towards your father?

Ryoma: I'm not hostile!

Counselor: third non-collaboration…adding 6…extra session…

Ryoma: Because he sent me here and I'm missing practice!

Counselor: (scribbles more notes) Time's almost up. We should bring your father in here tomorrow.

Ryoma: YADDA!

Counselor: (glasses glint evilly)

Ryoma: Hai. (bows head)

Counselor: (drags patient by the collar to the door) now remember, Echizen-kun, cooperate or you might get more sessions and miss a lot of practice. Show's coming on in five minutes see you tomorrow. (kicks Ryoma out the door)

Ryoma: Oi matte – (door slams in front of his face) che.

_Session 2: _

Counselor: Welcome Echizen Nanjirou-san. Hello Ryoma-kun.

Nanjirou: (looks leeringly at counselor's figure)

Counselor: (slams meter stick on top of Nanjirou's head) Down slave!

Nanjirou: x.x

Ryoma: O.o;;

Counselor: Now we can begin the tor- um…session. Now tell me Nanjirou-san, why did you send your son to therapy?

Nanjirou: Didn't seishounen tell you?

Counselor: Yes, but I want to hear it from you. (twitch, twitch)

Nanjirou: (sighs) I caught him making out with a GUY!

Counselor: (coughs twice) I know that Nanjirou-san but why?

Nanjirou: To set him straight.

Ryoma: (murmurs) Baka oyaji…

Nanjirou: No respect these days…

Counselor: Ii data (starts scribbling notes) Now Nanjirou-san, what do you find wrong with that?

Nanjirou: It just is!

Counselor: That isn't a valid reason, Nanjirou-san. Tell me why or you can try out my newest mix. People recommend it. (whips out a clear pitcher filled with semi-boiling purple liquid)

Both back away.

Nanjirou: That is- I – He's playing bottom! (stutters out)

Counselor: Ii data. I've counseled someone like this before in your situation Ryoma-kun, I'll bring him in next time. Make sure you come too Nanjirou-san.

Nanjirou: But isn't my son in therapy, not me? (states with eyes wide)

Counselor: (glasses glint evilly) If you do not come Nanjirou-san, I'm sure Ryoma-kun would love to bring you this after next session. (traces finger around top of pitcher)

Nanjirou: o.O I'll come!

Counselor: Good, good. I'll see you both tomorrow and you'll get to meet the guest. (glances at untouched purple liquid) Oi, would you two-

Father & Son: (disappeared)

Counselor: (sighs) Too bad they didn't get to try out my new drink…

_Session 3_

Ryoma: (blinks)

Guest: (blinks)

Ryoma: (stares in surprise) Buchou…

Tezuka: (stares back) Echizen?

Counselor: (scribbles down notes) Ah you two know each other, good, good data… (glances around) Where's your father Ryoma-kun?

Ryoma: (points down the hall)

Counselor: Stay here and don't leave otherwise I'd add another session. (steps out into the hall)

Tezuka & Ryoma: … … …

Silence

Ryoma: Buchou…

Tezuka: Hmm?

Ryoma: How did you get into this?

Tezuka: (sighs) Grandfather caught me.

Ryoma: With who Monkey King?

Silence

Tezuka: (hand twitches)

Ryoma: (smirks and files information for blackmail) _He's rubbing off on me…_

Nanjirou: Itai! Itai! Itai! Itai!

Counselor: (drags vict- patient by the ear into the room, dumping into the spot beside Ryoma) Now we can begin the session… (grabs notepad and starts scribbling information)

Tezuka: (glances at Nanjirou) _This is the Echizen Nanjirou? _

Ryoma: (pulls cap lower) Baka oyaji…

Counselor: (smirks evilly) Now, I want everyone to cooperate this time otherwise… (takes out a pitcher of boiling green liquid) They get to try my 'Special Wasabi Medication Remix'

Tezuka: (hand twitches)

Ryoma: (growls softly)

Nanjirou: (continues nursing wounds)

Counselor: Good, good. (scribbles down notes then glances at the three) Now I threa-asked Tezuka-kun to come because he was in the same situation as you, Ryoma-kun. He'd just gotten off therapy a week ago after his grandfather agreed with the relationship. Now Ryoma-kun, you can go straight or convince your perverted father to accept this relationship too. Hmm…I think he needs therapy too. It could pay for that new drink I need to invent… (scribbles more notes)

Nanjirou: Oi, seishounen, like girls so we won't be in this- (backs away as pitcher of boiling green liquid was in front of him)

Counselor: (glasses glint evilly) This what?

Nanjirou: Nothing…

Counselor: (sits back down) Good. Now, Tezuka-kun, explain how you also had to get therapy. Don't be shy I'll make sure they don't spread this good black- what you are about to say. (hand rests on a pitcher of 'Special Wasabi Medication Remix')

Tezuka: -.-+ My...grandfather caught us…and forced my parents to send me to this.

Counselor: (scribbles notes) Now, now Tezuka-kun, that isn't enough sufficient information. You need to add more details. Ryoma-kun was more vocal on this.

Ryoma: (blushes)

Three males: _That sounded so wrong… _

Counselor: Or would you like to try this 'Special Wasabi Medication Remix'?

Silence

Tezuka: -.-+ My grandfather…caught us, on my bed after coming home early from a trip, and forced my parents…to send me to this.

Counselor: Stress marks, hands twitching, angry expression… (glances back up) Tezuka-kun, Ryoma-kun was still more vocal than that…

Silence

Counselor: (sighs) Fine then, you bring your boyfriend Tezuka-kun or I'll recommend more sessions from your parents. (looks at Ryoma and smiles) Ryoma-kun, bring your mother in. In fact, Tezuka-kun, invite your parents too.

Ryoma & Tezuka: Hai.

Nanjirou: (still nursing old wounds)

Counselor: Now before you leave… (whips out glass of boiling blue liquid) which one of you likes to try this new medicinal drink?

Tezuka & Ryoma: (steps back)

Nanjirou: (doesn't pay attention)

Counselor: Ah Nanjirou-san, thanks for volunteering.

Tezuka and Ryoma walked out leaving behind that crazy office with screaming in the background.

_Session 4_

The parents introduced each other, the patients are annoyed, and the guest is busy frowning at the inexpensiveness of the big room. The counselor is observing and scribbling down notes.

Guest: (brushes strand of hair away from eyes) Tell Ore-sama why he has to take time off to come into this common room?

Counselor: -.-+ Atobe-kun, just because the furniture is not up to your standards, doesn't mean you can insult my designs. Would you care to try my 'New and Improved Medicinal Drink'? Or you could pay me extra to get the most expensive furniture out there?

Tezuka: Keigo! (says in a stern voice)

Atobe: Hmph, you're lucky sensei that Ore-sama does not wish to disappoint.

Counselor: (begins to write) Atobe Keigo, cocky drama queen, wrapped around uke's finger…arrogant, rich, (mumbles) damn bastard, famous nickname 'Monkey-King'

Atobe: -.-+

Counselor: …likes color purple, is willing to pay for new furniture… (looks at audience) Mr. and Mrs. Tezuka, a pleasure to see you again. And it's nice to finally meet Mrs. Echizen.

Rinko: (smiles, oblivious to what is really going on) Likewise. Call me Rinko.

Counselor: _finally someone who is easy to communicate with…_ So, Rinko-san, what is the situation between father and son?

Rinko: Anata-1- and Ryoma seem to hate each other but they actually are just hiding their feelings. They really are like father and son.

Counselor: Ii data. Mrs. Tezuka, how are things going along?

Mrs. Tezuka: Just great! Father is really coming along great though is resting after that traumatizing incident for him last night made him pass out.

Counselor: (writes notes) What traumatizing incident?

Mrs. Tezuka: Oh, he found Kunimitsu and Atobe-kun having xXx and more xXx hearing loud xXx all night. Since we moved in when we found out about Atobe-kun courting my son. Father still needs to get use to it.

Mr. Tezuka stays in the background along with Kabaji who really didn't pay attention to the discussion at hand. Tezuka and Ryoma fought down blushes while Atobe smirked.

Counselor: Good data. Rinko-san, what do you think of your son dating another man?

Rinko: I don't mind. But he didn't tell me. Ryoma, why didn't you tell me you were dating someone? I'm your mother, you should tell me these things. Invite him over for dinner tomorrow night. I'd like to meet him.

Ryoma: (pulls down cap) Uis.

Nanjirou: Ri-rinko, you're not agreeing to this (he stutters)

Rinko: (stares angrily at Nanjirou) Anata! You are his father, you should support your son (hits him repeatedly in the head)

Counselor: (interrupts) Kokode-2-.

Rinko: (takes offered meter stick and smiles) Arigato. (begins hitting Nanjirou repeatedly)

Everyone else just watches. Ryoma lowers his cap even more.

Atobe: So Echizen, who are you dating that your father had to send you here? (he stared smirking at the victim that started this bizarre therapy session)

Ryoma: (glares) None of your business Monkey King.

Atobe: -.-+ Don't call Ore-sama that hated name.

Ryoma: Monkey King, Monkey King, Monkey King…

Atobe: -.-+ Echizen, if I hear you say it one more time I'll-

Tezuka: Keigo!

Atobe: Hmph, you're lucky Echizen that Ore-sama does not wish to disappoint.

Ryoma: Whatever…(pauses for a moment) Monkey King.

Atobe: (twitches with stress marks) Gaki…

Ryoma: (other side of Tezuka, sticks tongue out)

Atobe: You little-

Tezuka: Keigo!

Atobe backs down while glaring at said victim who started this waste of time therapy session. Ryoma just smirks triumphantly.

Counselor: Now that everyone got it out of their system we can conclude this session. (scribbles more notes and looks at Ryoma) Ryoma-kun, bring your boyfriend in tomorrow and Rinko-san you can take him over your house for dinner. Mrs. Tezuka, you can stay home while Tezuka-kun and Atobe-kun get to come back. Anyone object? (trails finger around top of pitcher filled with black boiling liquid)

Silence

Counselor: Good. Would anyone like to try- (glances to see everyone gone and sighs) That's too bad, this was actually my best one yet…

_Session 5_

Ryoma: (Walks in with his boyfriend, who we all get to know, along with Tezuka and Atobe) Inui-senpai, what are you doing here? (sees occupant sitting in his counselors chair)

Inui: Ah Echizen, Tezuka, Atobe, Fuji, you're here?

Fuji: (smiles) Inui, I believe we want to know what you're doing here?

Inui: Ah, I'm taking place of the counselor for half the time. She has informed me of the situation. I didn't know that you were involved. (takes out notebook and begins writing notes)

Ryoma, Tezuka, & Atobe: -.-+

Fuji: (wraps arms around Ryoma's shoulders from behind) Don't worry Ryoma-kun, Inui wouldn't let such information slide without me setting up the stage. Ne, Inui?

Inui: (glances up) Un, Fuji. Take seats, we just have to wait for Echizen's parents.

Tezuka and Atobe took the couch, Fuji took the reclining chair, and Ryoma…had to drag a chair over or sit on the floor. Before he could grab another chair he was pulled onto a lap as arms encircled his waist so he wouldn't escape. He blushed.

Ryoma: Fuji-senpai…

Fuji: Ryoma, don't you think this seat is much more comfortable than the chair or the floor? (smiles)

Ryoma: (sighs before giving up his struggles to get out of his boyfriend's grip, which is strong)

Fuji: (smiles) So, Tezuka, Atobe hmm? _Eiji would love to hear about this…_

Tezuka: -.-+ Tell anyone about this Fuji…

Fuji: I have no idea what you mean Tezuka.

Tezuka: (growls softly)

Door busts open.

Nanjirou: (being dragged by Rinko, held by the ear) Itai, itai, itai, itai, itai…

Counselor: Sadaharu, thanks for watching over the office. I'm sure your guests were polite? (walks over to the desk picking up notebook and giving Inui a hug)

Inui: No problem Kaa-san-3-, we go to the same school I was able to gather some good data.

Ryoma, Tezuka, and Atobe were surprised while Fuji just smiled filing the information for later.

Counselor: (smiles) That's my son. You can go back now.

Inui: Minna, see you later. (walks out reviewing notebook)

Tezuka: _Note. Make Inui run laps all of practice tomorrow… _

Counselor: (looks at occupants) So you must be this mystery boyfriend? (looks at Fuji)

Fuji: Ah, and you must be this mystery counselor I've been hearing so much about.

Counselor: Yes (glances at notes) you are Fuji Syuusuke, a tennis prodigy, favorite food wasabi…hmm…interesting… (whips out pitcher of boiling green liquid and points to the Ryoma's parents) They are Ryoma's parents who wanted to meet you.

Fuji: (shakes Rinko's hand) Nice to meet you Echizen-san.

Rinko: (smiles ignoring the fact that her son is being molested) Call me Rinko. Would you care to join us for dinner afterwards?

Fuji: I'd be delighted, Rinko-san. (glances at Nanjirou) Is he okay?

Rinko: (hits Nanjirou's head) Don't mind him, he doesn't mind, do you Anata?

Nanjirou: N-no. (grumbles about controlling wives)

Atobe: Hn. Is this over? Ore-sama does not wish to stay where he is not needed.

Counselor: (observes occupants) Seeing as how Nanjirou-san is slowly accepting the relationship I don't see why we should continue with these sessions. (writes down something, tears off piece, and hands it over to Ryoma, who glanced at it before giving it to Tezuka) take this to the front desk and you're free to go.

They all stood up and walked out of the room. Counselor glances down at the forgotten pitcher.

Counselor: (sighs) every time… I always forget.

At the front desk, Tezuka hands the paper to his boyfriend. Atobe glances at it before his eyes widened as he looked at the bottom.

"Ore-sama refuses to pay for this!"

_Next Day_

Counselor: (glances at occupant) Sanada-kun, you are here for?

Sanada: I got caught…

(Owari)

1 – affectionate term used to call spouse, means 'dear'

2 – means 'Here'

3 – means 'Mother'

OMAKE

At the Echizen household: dinner

"So tell me Fuji-kun, since when did you start dating my son?"

"It's been a few months."

"That's nice. Though I wish you'd tell me sooner Ryoma, I am your mother."

"Hmph."

"Does anyone in your family know about this Fuji-kun?"

"Yes, my sister and my younger brother. This is really good cooking Rinko-san."

"Thank you Fuji-kun. So how far have you two gone?"

"Okaa-san!"

Next Day: Seishun Gakuen Junior High

"Nya, what's this?" Eiji glances at an open notebook lying near a tree. He picks it up reading its contents. He stares in surprise before giggling with excitement.

"I've got to tell Oishi and Fuji and Everyone!"

Later During practice:

"WHAT! TEZUKA-BUCHOU IS DATING ATOBE-SAN!"

Everyone stopped and looked towards Tezuka who hardly showed emotion was giving off the aura of running laps.

"Everyone 100 laps, Momoshiro, Eiji, 300 laps, Inui 400!"

No one moved.

"200, 400, 500 laps now!"

"EEK!" Everyone took off not wanting to run more laps.

Fuji chuckled while Ryoma placed his cap lower. At least Momo-senpai didn't mention him.

"WHA! ECHIZEN AND FUJI-SENPAI ARE ALSO DATING!"

Omake End

BLK Angel of Destruction: Whatcha guys think? I'm sorry if it wasn't that entertaining but its been in my mind so I had to put it down. Pointless, I just had to do something to ease my writers block.

Review! NO flames! C+C accepted.


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